Success and Failure Indicators
Fr. Jim Van Vurst
The other day I came across a list of qualities both positive and negative that we see as criteria for “success” or “failure” in most people’s lives. I thought they provided a simple and yet realistic way of understanding our strengths and weaknesses as we walk through life with our family and friends.
1. Have a sense of gratitude.
2. Give other people credit
3. Read something every day.
4. Stay informed.
5. Talk about issues, ideas.
6. Seek information.
7. Accept change.
8. Forgive others.
9. Be happy with other’s success.
10. Have reasonable goals.
11. Be open to new learning.
The above suggested criteria seem rather reasonable and very much on target. The positive personality traits/attitudes/manner of behaving (in this case) are not about our relationship with God or faith system though most if not all seem to be what the Gospel holds out to us as part of a description of a good Christian, e.g. forgiveness, gratitude, and such. But they also include what we might call “natural virtues” that assist us as good human beings and help us develop naturally.
On the other hand, we can also spot indicators of our failure to be healthy and secure persons.
1. Having a sense of entitlement.
2. Being quick to criticize.
3. Holding grudges.
4. Being quick to blame.
5. Fearing change.
6. Hoarding information.
7. Reacting with anger.
8. Being a “know it all.”
9. Hoping others will fail.
10. Never setting goals.
11. Having an attitude of rigidity.
Most of us hope we don’t have any of these negatives, though in all honesty there might be one or two we struggle with. Personality tendencies can be a result of early learning and experience. For couples planning to marry, it is important to understand the qualities, both positive and negative of each other. That’s why in almost all US dioceses the FOCUS QUESTIONNAIRE with 189 questions is an important tool of preparation. We say love is blind, because in the eagerness to be married, it is easy to overlook key personality issues. At least in a few cases, after taking this test and prayerfully analyzing the results, couples were able to see the serious incompatibility of their personality/emotional differences as well as some deeply held beliefs before making that lifetime commitment.
Fr. Jim
Posted in: Jesus, Newsletter, Prayer, Senior Friars
